I eat like Dom DeLuise

Proudly, I have much in common with the late comedy legend Dom DeLuise. For example, our fathers were both Italian immigrants and we were dear friends of Burt Reynolds. However, our passion has always been food. We've never missed a meal and will eat anything and everything, anytime, anywhere.

Sadly, I never met Dom before he left this world for that big ol' pizza pie in the sky last May. But I know that if we did meet, it would have been somewhere away from food and drink, perhaps inside an old outhouse. (Public restrooms  are not an option, since I eat garbage and drink toilet water. I imagine Dom was the same way.) End of digression.

The best time to eat is when I'm left unattended and the batteries die in my barrier collar. Or when Bob & Vanessa Drownforget to put the damn collar back on me. When it's "working" (not my word), I hear a high-pitched beeping for a few seconds. If I don't back away from the food, I get a little zap/taze--which I hate. Everyone was shocked (what pun?) when it was discovered that this actually worked on me.

By the way, don't you love when pets write in the first person?

Here is a list of recent food items I've retrieved. I'll try to post as often as I can infiltrate security and find things to eat (edible or otherwise).

When: Friday 10/23/09
Where: In car, parked at Pierce Flooring & Design
What: One bag of pita bread
Details: Just purchased at Costco. I was caught by Bob but not before I made nearly the entire bag disappear. Bob & Vanessa had to stop at Town & Country to buy more for their fancy falafel!

When: Thursday10/15/09

Where: At home in the living room & kitchen

What: Full jar of Nutella spread, bag of Hershey's semi-sweet chocolate chips, bag of brown rice, several dog pork chews, bag of panko bread crumbs

Details: Bob walked in the door and caught me with a pork chewy in my mouth. I left dozens of pieces of chewed up plastic from the Nutella jar. I later pooped plastic pieces and choco chip bag remnants.